“Of course, we are not suggesting anything sinister.” The Queen clarified.
“I did not think that Your Majesty would.” Robert smiled. “However, Your Majesties are not the only ones who would like to see the Baron Lensdown put in his place.”
“I have no doubt.” Victoria replied. “The man is a nuisance. You are both aware that he is a volatile person.”
“I know very well.” Punch sighed. “I seen what he can do.”
“Ah, yes.” The Queen said softly. “I know you have, dear Mr. Punch.” She sighed. “I hope that those closest to us know that I have never been one to judge a man based on his birth—at least not as much as my mother would. Still, while some men who are not of aristocratic birth are able to become the finest of gentlemen—like our lovely doctor here, others are not. The baron was a workhouse boy who was given every advantage by those who adopted him. Yet, he remained low. Had he been born in a palace or a gutter, he’d still be low. People are what they are. I’ve long heard rumblings of his misdeeds and lecherous behavior. Albert hears more than I do. Well, now, it seems, he’s designs on some of my ladies in waiting. We can’t have that, can we?”
“No, Your Majesty.” Punch shook his head.
“In part, I’m concerned for the virtue of these women, but also, and Prince Albert is certain this is the case, the man is vying for a spot within the court and hopes to gain entrance through the boudoir.”
“That wouldn’t surprise me.” Robert sighed.
“Lady Lensdown is a queer woman, however, she’s not disagreeable. What brings her to your home?”
“Well, Your Majesty, she came to us, really, to tell us that she’d seen the woman called Orpha Polk meeting for tea yesterday with Lady Constance Hamish,” Punch replied honestly.
“Oh…” The Queen raised her eyebrows. “Lady Hamish is also present at your home. Is she not?”
“She is.” Robert nodded.
“Is she as much of a fright as her mother?” Victoria asked.
“That’s rather difficult to say, Your Majesty.” Robert shook his head.
“What is your opinion of the woman?”
“I don’t trust her.” Punch replied plainly.
“You must tell us everything, dear Mr. Punch.” The Queen smiled. “I know there’s something that I’ve not been told.”
“It is true,” Mr. Punch sat up straight. “We have shielded your majesty from some unsavory details.”
“Tell…” The Queen winked.
“I wouldn’t know how to begin…” Punch looked at Robert.
“Some of it, Your Majesty, is quite…shocking.”
“All the better. Go on, lads, tell us.” The Queen leaned forward.
“I…” Punch began.
“Would one of these wee cakes help loosen your tongue, Mr. Punch?” Queen Victoria asked.
“Might just.” Punch chuckled.
“By all means, then.” She gestured to the trolley.
Punch raised his eyebrows.
“Gobble ‘em up, Mr. Punch.” The Queen giggled. “But, be quick, we must get it all resolved before my husband joins us. Sweet cakes for sweet gossip.”
“It’s not too sweet, Your Majesty.” Robert winced.
“In the end, dear doctor, it always is.” The Queen winked.
Did you miss Chapters 1-229 of Mr. Punch of Belgrave Square? If so, you can read them here. Come back tomorrow for Chapter 231.
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