What's Bertie Watching? The Eleventh Season of Dancing with the Stars

Contrary to popular belief, dogs do watch television. At least, that’s been my experience with Bertie. When Bertie first came to live with me, I was rather surprised by his reaction to an episode of The Golden Girls. In that particular episode, “The Girls” had a mouse in their kitchen. Bertie got up, went to the television, got on his hind legs and barked at the mouse. When the mouse ran out of frame, Bertie looked behind the TV. Now, I’d known dogs to react to sound from television shows before—doorbells, other dogs barking, etc. But, I’d never experienced a dog actually reacting to visuals on TV. And, so, we experimented. He recognized the fact that Toto was a dog in The Wizard of Oz, and showed me that he didn’t care much for Toto by barking. To this day, “Where’s Toto?” will get you the same response. He also recognized that Scooby Doo was some kind of dog, albeit a peculiar one.

So, I shouldn’t have been surprised when Bertie took a fancy to Dancing with the Stars. As a general rule, I’m not usually a fan of reality shows. But, there’s nothing particularly realistic about DWTS. I was also glad to see ballroom dance get some primetime recognition. The first time we watched Dancing with the Stars, Bertie sat mesmerized. In subsequent viewings, he began to wag his tail upon hearing Tom Bergeron’s cheerful cry, “Live, this is Dancing With the Stars.” If Bertie is in another room, upon hearing Tom Bergeron’s voice, he’ll come running. Even if I mimic Mr. Bergeron with a hearty, “Live…” Bertie is sent into wild fits of tail-wagging ecstasy.

Tonight marks the debut of Dancing with the Stars’ Eleventh Season. The atmosphere is thick with anticipation of moments that will make us cheer and moments which will make us cringe as an odd assortment of “celebrities” take the dance floor. This year's cast is:

David “Baywatch and some other stuff” Hassellhoff
Jennifer “That really was me in Dirty Dancing” Grey
Kurt “Some Kind of Footballer” Warner
Brandy “I have no apparent last name”
Florence “Fashionable Brady Mullet” Henderson
Michael “The Situation—honestly? Is it a situation I can avoid?” Sorrentino
Michael “Remember me from that episode of The Nanny?” Bolton
Audrina “I have no idea” Patridge (not Brady-nemesis, Partridge)
Bristol “My mom is famous” Palin
Rick “Some Kind of Sports Fellow from California” Fox
Margaret “I’m sassy” Cho
Kyle “I was on a Disney Channel Show, or maybe I still am” Massey

Though we don’t know who all of these people are. We’re sure to be watching—tail wagging. Bertie, however, still wants to send his votes to Marie Osmond.