Well, well, Mr. Cranky Pants, what’s on your mind? Are you sour because we don’t know who you are? You’re not Disraeli. No. You’re…well, you’re someone American. I’d have a better chance identifying you if you were British. But, I have no clue.
Why are you on a trade card, Mr. Cranky Pants? Are you trying to sell us Scrofula tonic? Do you want us to know that you make the world’s best shoes? Perhaps canned meats are your line. We’ll never know. No one ever printed the reverse of the card. It couldn’t be that you’re a stock card. No. Who would pick you? You couldn’t sell perfume? Nor could you endorse ladies’ hats and trimmings. I wouldn’t feel compelled to buy coffee from you. You make me sad, because you’re sad.
And, so, we’ll mock you.
Let’s have a caption contest for this poor, lonely, disgruntled antique lithograph.
The thunderstorm is scaring Bertie, so make your answers funny so he can be distracted. Answers in the comments section, please.
Oh...also, if you know who he is, I'd like to know, too.
19 comments:
An ad for Victorian air fresheners.
Not very good ones, it seems.
He just read a spoiler on the 21st century.
That would do it.
Compared to my mother in law he looks beautiful and sweet.
Someday, we must see this dragon.
Looks bound up.
In a number of ways.
I think he's a model for an ad for Lifestyle Lifts or Botox and Debbie Boone just told him they only wanted him for the "before" pictures.
He's really crushed. In his mind he's always thought of himself as an "after".
Ha! Good one! Besides, he always thought "You Light Up My Life" was about him.
He looks like he has painful, smelly feet.
I would agree with that.
Maybe his sock suspender things are too tight.
Always a problem.
"Smell this. Does this smell bad to you?"
Try Somber Trusses for all Your Truss Needs.
The sold them in the tens.
Actually, if you can stand to look at him closely, there seems to be a flicker of a smile about his eyes and mouth. Like a bear expecting a bun. Or maybe he's waiting for the dinner gong behind him to bong very loudly. Or maybe I shouldn't look too closely.
It's gas.
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