“Such chivalry,” Barbara sighed, “considering what I’ve just been about.”
Charles shook his head as he helped her up.
“So, is this the end of us?” Barbara asked.
“I think it is.” Charles nodded.
“May I ask why?”
“You know that I love you.” Charles began.
“So you’ve said.” Barbara smirked.
“You don’t love me. Do you?”
“I care for you.” Barbara answered quickly. “Isn’t that obvious? I’ve included you in all of my plans.”
“But, you don’t love me.” Charles sighed.
“Whatever love is.” Barbara scowled.
“I know what it is.” Charles replied quietly. “And, that’s why I must never see you again.”
“You make no sense.” Barbara muttered.
“Don’t I?” Charles answered. “You—you know I love you. I will continue to love you even though I know you’re incapable of returning my affection. My love will always drive me to attempt to make a life for us both—a life free of this agony…”
“What agony?”
“Can you tell me that you just enjoyed…”
“Who enjoys labor?” Barbara said. “When you were shining shoes, did you enjoy it?”
“Yes.” Charles snapped. “Well…I don’t know. But, I didn’t feel filthy afterwards. I didn’t hate myself after I’ve shined a pair of boots.”
“I don’t hate myself.” Barbara laughed. “I can remove myself from my work.”
“But, I can’t.”
“So, it’s come to this? You’re finally judging me.”
“I’m not.” Charles shook his head. “I’m judging myself. Barbara, as I said, I’ll always love you. I want you to be free, to be at peace. I’ve tried to convince you to give up this vendetta that you have so that you might have quiet and beauty in your life. But, you refuse. Though I love you—because I love you—I cannot watch you destroy yourself.”
“So, you’re a coward?”
“No. If I were a coward I would stay with you. Because I am brave, I can walk away from you. It’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Who wants to be left alone?”
“You do!” Charles replied in exasperation. “You have put yourself on a path of solitude. Anger is not an environment which fosters togetherness.”
“You sound like my brother.” Barbara scoffed. “I’m glad to be rid of you.”
“I rather figured you would be. Good luck to you, Barbara.”
“Where will you go?”
“I don’t know.” Charles said. “Back to your brother, the Duke, I suppose. If he’ll have me.”
“So, you would rather dress a lunatic, bring him his food, dirty your hands at his whims than be my companion?”
“I want nothing more than to be your companion—a true companion. But, it’s not what you want. You don’t want a husband or even a friend. You want me to be your servant. And, the work you ask of me is far dirtier than anything I would be asked to do by His Grace, the Duke. This, Barbara, is the kindest thing I can do for you. Leaving you is the only way I can show you my love. For me to be at your side, disapproving, trying to change you, would only make you miserable. Because I love you, I want you to change. Because you won’t, I’ll show my love by leaving you be.”
“Farewell, then.” Barbara said stiffly.
“Farewell.” Charles nodded, walking away.
Barbara watched as Charles walked slowly into the cold distance.
“How sad.” Barbara shook her head. “How sad that I have to destroy you, too.”
Did you miss Chapters 1-438? If so, you can read them here.
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