Object of the Day: Charity's Home

Click on image to see a picture with no relation whatsoever to the copy.

Well, I have no idea.

I decided that I would sit down and type the copy from the reverse of this page and see where it took me. After a lot of dialogue and a peculiar use of the affectionate term of “glow worm,” the copy finally told me that this was an ad for Met Life Insurance. It’s the twelfth of something. I’d guess that it’s twelfth chapter of an ongoing insurance-themed saga. It appears to be a page from a booklet since it just cuts off.

The obverse gives us a nice look at a little girl with a puppy. This doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the story of Israel and Charity and their shotgun house. Still, it’s a strangely compelling read.

Judge for yourself. I insist. I took the time to type it.

12. 

CHARITY’S HOME 

AND HOW IT WAS PAID FOR 

A FEW years ago, my wife said to me one morning:

“Israel, we must have a home of our own.”

Said I: “Charity, it’s just impossible; we hain’t the means.”

Said she: “Israel, we hain’t the means to pay the rent these people charge, that’s clear.”

She began washing up the breakfast things, and off I went to duty.

In the evening, Charity said to me, as we sat down to supper:

“Israel, I’ve bought a lot.”

I srpanf up from my chair and said: “You’ve bought what?”

“A lot.” Said she.

“A lot?” Said I.

“A lot.” Said she.

“Well!” said I and sat down again and went for the tea and biscuit. When I came to, I said to my wife: “Just explain yourself, Charity.”

“I’ve bought a lot,” said she. “Mr. Dodd says the fifty dollars down are satisfactory, and the rest may run at six per cent. Twenty feet front, one hundred feet deep—two thousand feet at twn cents a foot, two hundred dollars. Fifty paid, one hundred and fifty due.”

“But, Charity, how about a house?”

“All right, Israel. I’ve made a contract with Chipps & Cullings; house, shed and fence, fifteen hundred and fifty.”

“Charity!”

“Israel, honey, don’t talk please. You men—“

“Charity, are you?”

“Deranged, eh? No, love, not a bit. One hundred dollars cash when possession is given--”

“But, Charity--”

“Stop a minute. You know, Israel, we can never get our large bureau, nor our large sofa, nor our high-post bedstead, nor our large dining table, nor our large wardrobe into this little four-room house. That’s clear, hain’t it?”

“Well?”

“Well, then, we’ll sell them all, and the proceeds will meet these two cash payments.”

“Exactly.”

“Exactly, with a little difference, may be. So, you see.”

“But, how can we do without those things?”

“As easy as you will do without cigars; as easy as you will be your own barber and boot-black; as easy as we’ll both take our breakfast without half-dollar butter; as easy as I’ll make all last winter’s clothes carry me through next winter; as easy as I’ll carry you through, nice and genteel, on the same principle; as easy as--”

“Charity!”

“Well?”

“As easy as I’ll do without a “breakfaster” and a “nooner” and a “night-cap,” and my cigars, and an occasional theatre ticket, and--”

“Exactly, old glow-worm.”

“Well—well. Suppose we should do without these things, and I should be taken away before it is paid, where would our own—my Charity’s home—be then?”

“Oh, you can get your life insured in the METROPOLITAN, and make that all safe.”

“Darling, here’s with you!” I never saw debts squared off so soon. Two hundred and fifteen hundred make seventeen; and one hundred and fifty cash, paid off by proceeds of surplus furniture, leaves fifteen hundred and fifty. Fifty dollars a month pays this off in—no, not thirty-one months, because the interest and insurance payments put it off somewhat…

Object of the Day: Punch Presents Quick Meal Coal Ranges, circa 1904

"QUICK MEAL"
DRAWING BOOK 
-------
This little booklet will amuse the Children. Let them
copy the pictures on the Tissue Paper.
--------

Punch and Judy 
          of olden times
     Are now the subject of
          our rhymes.
Punch’s appetite was
          great,
     So he ordered Judy to 

          cook a steak.

Now Judy, you know,
     had an old time
          stove,
     And to cook for
          Punch she often
               strove;
But Punch could not
     be pleasant or glad,
     And oft at mealtime
          he was mad.

One day, when he was
          in a fit,
     And Baby cried ‘till
          it was sick, 

Punch threw it madly,
          out of doors;
Poor Judy shrieked
          aloud, of course.

A Policeman came
          into the door,
      And Judy cried
          aloud some more;
But Punch could not
          be taken in,
     And swore the battle
          he would win.

He won the battle
          To be sure,
     But could not win
          Poor Judy more.
A bright idea popped
          in his head—
     “I’ll get a QUICK
          MEAL RANGE,”
               he said.

So when the Range
           was set up right,
     Judy worked with
          all her might,
And cooked, and
     cooked—morn,
           noon and night,
     You never saw such
           a pretty sight. 

Click images to enlarge.

This fanciful little booklet, complete with its original tracing paper inserts, was made to advertise St. Louis-based “Quick Meal Coal Ranges” and Gas ranges for the Ringen Stove Co. of Missouri. Since the booklet mentions the World’s Fair, we can guess that it was made after the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair.

This American company has cleverly featured Britain’s Mr. and Mrs. Punch and their baby. Punch, as you’ve just read, is annoyed by Judy’s slow range and tosses the baby out of the window. But, after gleefully smashing the Beadle, Punch decides he can make everything right by buying Judy a new range. And, actually, it does seem to do the trick.

I can’t tell you how much I love the illustrations in this booklet. They’re too wonderful, and I adore the look of utter joy with which Punch approaches everything he’s doing. He’s as happy with his meal of turkey and hams as he is just to throw the baby out of the window. And, that’s why we love Mr. Punch.

I’ve scanned most of the book for you. Enjoy the pictures. They’re quite a treat. You’ll see that some of the pages are covered by the original tissue paper. I’ve moved the paper out of the way in the next image.  I'm just surprised it was never drawn in.

Object of the Day: Punch Presents Quick Meal Coal Ranges, circa 1904

"QUICK MEAL"
DRAWING BOOK 
-------
This little booklet will amuse the Children. Let them
copy the pictures on the Tissue Paper.
--------

Punch and Judy 
          of olden times
     Are now the subject of
          our rhymes.
Punch’s appetite was
          great,
     So he ordered Judy to 

          cook a steak.

Now Judy, you know,
     had an old time
          stove,
     And to cook for
          Punch she often
               strove;
But Punch could not
     be pleasant or glad,
     And oft at mealtime
          he was mad.

One day, when he was
          in a fit,
     And Baby cried ‘till
          it was sick, 

Punch threw it madly,
          out of doors;
Poor Judy shrieked
          aloud, of course.

A Policeman came
          into the door,
      And Judy cried
          aloud some more;
But Punch could not
          be taken in,
     And swore the battle
          he would win.

He won the battle
          To be sure,
     But could not win
          Poor Judy more.
A bright idea popped
          in his head—
     “I’ll get a QUICK
          MEAL RANGE,”
               he said.

So when the Range
           was set up right,
     Judy worked with
          all her might,
And cooked, and
     cooked—morn,
           noon and night,
     You never saw such
           a pretty sight. 

Click images to enlarge.

This fanciful little booklet, complete with its original tracing paper inserts, was made to advertise St. Louis-based “Quick Meal Coal Ranges” and Gas ranges for the Ringen Stove Co. of Missouri. Since the booklet mentions the World’s Fair, we can guess that it was made after the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair.

This American company has cleverly featured Britain’s Mr. and Mrs. Punch and their baby. Punch, as you’ve just read, is annoyed by Judy’s slow range and tosses the baby out of the window. But, after gleefully smashing the Beadle, Punch decides he can make everything right by buying Judy a new range. And, actually, it does seem to do the trick.

I can’t tell you how much I love the illustrations in this booklet. They’re too wonderful, and I adore the look of utter joy with which Punch approaches everything he’s doing. He’s as happy with his meal of turkey and hams as he is just to throw the baby out of the window. And, that’s why we love Mr. Punch.

I’ve scanned most of the book for you. Enjoy the pictures. They’re quite a treat. You’ll see that some of the pages are covered by the original tissue paper. I’ve moved the paper out of the way in the next image.  I'm just surprised it was never drawn in.

Object of the Day: Charity's Home

Click on image to see a picture with no relation whatsoever to the copy.

Well, I have no idea.

I decided that I would sit down and type the copy from the reverse of this page and see where it took me. After a lot of dialogue and a peculiar use of the affectionate term of “glow worm,” the copy finally told me that this was an ad for Met Life Insurance. It’s the twelfth of something. I’d guess that it’s twelfth chapter of an ongoing insurance-themed saga. It appears to be a page from a booklet since it just cuts off.

The obverse gives us a nice look at a little girl with a puppy. This doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the story of Israel and Charity and their shotgun house. Still, it’s a strangely compelling read.

Judge for yourself. I insist. I took the time to type it.

12. 

CHARITY’S HOME 

AND HOW IT WAS PAID FOR 

A FEW years ago, my wife said to me one morning:

“Israel, we must have a home of our own.”

Said I: “Charity, it’s just impossible; we hain’t the means.”

Said she: “Israel, we hain’t the means to pay the rent these people charge, that’s clear.”

She began washing up the breakfast things, and off I went to duty.

In the evening, Charity said to me, as we sat down to supper:

“Israel, I’ve bought a lot.”

I srpanf up from my chair and said: “You’ve bought what?”

“A lot.” Said she.

“A lot?” Said I.

“A lot.” Said she.

“Well!” said I and sat down again and went for the tea and biscuit. When I came to, I said to my wife: “Just explain yourself, Charity.”

“I’ve bought a lot,” said she. “Mr. Dodd says the fifty dollars down are satisfactory, and the rest may run at six per cent. Twenty feet front, one hundred feet deep—two thousand feet at twn cents a foot, two hundred dollars. Fifty paid, one hundred and fifty due.”

“But, Charity, how about a house?”

“All right, Israel. I’ve made a contract with Chipps & Cullings; house, shed and fence, fifteen hundred and fifty.”

“Charity!”

“Israel, honey, don’t talk please. You men—“

“Charity, are you?”

“Deranged, eh? No, love, not a bit. One hundred dollars cash when possession is given--”

“But, Charity--”

“Stop a minute. You know, Israel, we can never get our large bureau, nor our large sofa, nor our high-post bedstead, nor our large dining table, nor our large wardrobe into this little four-room house. That’s clear, hain’t it?”

“Well?”

“Well, then, we’ll sell them all, and the proceeds will meet these two cash payments.”

“Exactly.”

“Exactly, with a little difference, may be. So, you see.”

“But, how can we do without those things?”

“As easy as you will do without cigars; as easy as you will be your own barber and boot-black; as easy as we’ll both take our breakfast without half-dollar butter; as easy as I’ll make all last winter’s clothes carry me through next winter; as easy as I’ll carry you through, nice and genteel, on the same principle; as easy as--”

“Charity!”

“Well?”

“As easy as I’ll do without a “breakfaster” and a “nooner” and a “night-cap,” and my cigars, and an occasional theatre ticket, and--”

“Exactly, old glow-worm.”

“Well—well. Suppose we should do without these things, and I should be taken away before it is paid, where would our own—my Charity’s home—be then?”

“Oh, you can get your life insured in the METROPOLITAN, and make that all safe.”

“Darling, here’s with you!” I never saw debts squared off so soon. Two hundred and fifteen hundred make seventeen; and one hundred and fifty cash, paid off by proceeds of surplus furniture, leaves fifteen hundred and fifty. Fifty dollars a month pays this off in—no, not thirty-one months, because the interest and insurance payments put it off somewhat…

Object of the Day: Punch Presents Quick Meal Coal Ranges, circa 1904

"QUICK MEAL"
DRAWING BOOK 
-------
This little booklet will amuse the Children. Let them
copy the pictures on the Tissue Paper.
--------

Punch and Judy 
          of olden times
     Are now the subject of
          our rhymes.
Punch’s appetite was
          great,
     So he ordered Judy to 

          cook a steak.

Now Judy, you know,
     had an old time
          stove,
     And to cook for
          Punch she often
               strove;
But Punch could not
     be pleasant or glad,
     And oft at mealtime
          he was mad.

One day, when he was
          in a fit,
     And Baby cried ‘till
          it was sick, 

Punch threw it madly,
          out of doors;
Poor Judy shrieked
          aloud, of course.

A Policeman came
          into the door,
      And Judy cried
          aloud some more;
But Punch could not
          be taken in,
     And swore the battle
          he would win.

He won the battle
          To be sure,
     But could not win
          Poor Judy more.
A bright idea popped
          in his head—
     “I’ll get a QUICK
          MEAL RANGE,”
               he said.

So when the Range
           was set up right,
     Judy worked with
          all her might,
And cooked, and
     cooked—morn,
           noon and night,
     You never saw such
           a pretty sight. 

Click images to enlarge.

This fanciful little booklet, complete with its original tracing paper inserts, was made to advertise St. Louis-based “Quick Meal Coal Ranges” and Gas ranges for the Ringen Stove Co. of Missouri. Since the booklet mentions the World’s Fair, we can guess that it was made after the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair.

This American company has cleverly featured Britain’s Mr. and Mrs. Punch and their baby. Punch, as you’ve just read, is annoyed by Judy’s slow range and tosses the baby out of the window. But, after gleefully smashing the Beadle, Punch decides he can make everything right by buying Judy a new range. And, actually, it does seem to do the trick.

I can’t tell you how much I love the illustrations in this booklet. They’re too wonderful, and I adore the look of utter joy with which Punch approaches everything he’s doing. He’s as happy with his meal of turkey and hams as he is just to throw the baby out of the window. And, that’s why we love Mr. Punch.

I’ve scanned most of the book for you. Enjoy the pictures. They’re quite a treat. You’ll see that some of the pages are covered by the original tissue paper. I’ve moved the paper out of the way in the next image.  I'm just surprised it was never drawn in.