Punch's Cousin, Chapter 277

Mr. Punch shuffled through the fog, keenly looking forward as he searched for his chums. “Probably eaten up by them witches what’s always poppin’ out of the mist like the crocodile. Least, the croc is easily bested. Just pull him off the professor’s hand. That’s all trickery, but these women are real. Creepin’ out o’ corners like some kind of crawly vermin. Hit ‘em all. Hit ‘em all with me stick and make sure they stay on the play-board. Only there ain’t no play-board. Ain’t no booth. Ain’t no professor. Ain’t no endin’.” He muttered as he trudged along.


He took a deep breath and continued his chattering rant. “’Twas easier, it were. Bein’ a puppet, thinkin’ o’ nothing and sayin’ only what was said for ya. I miss it, I do. Always the same, it were. Always knew what was comin’—Scaramouche, sure, but I could knock his head off his shoulders. Judy with her harsh ways. I’d always teach her a lesson. The doctor—gave him his own med’cin. Pretty Poll’—she weren’t so pretty after all. The constable were easy to finish, and Jack Ketch, well…he were a fool, he was. Started the same, ended the same—each time. I always beat the Devil! Huzzah! But, I don’t think I’m beatin’ the Devil this time. It’s all different. Sure.”

Punch paused to watch a mother and her children hurry past. One of the children, a little boy with dark curls and large, bright eyes, clutched a soft toy figure of a soldier in a red coat. For a moment, Punch thought that the boy grasped his own Mr. Punch.

“No,” Punch muttered, shaking his head. “Weren’t me. I’m not here. But, I am. Still, I ‘spose when I gave up the things I already knew, I gained so much more. Who’d have thought Punch would be friends with the Doctor, with the constable, with the baby, even? Who’d have thought that Punch would be friends with anyone? That were worth it.”

Ahead, through the fog, Punch saw two figures—one tall and sandy-haired, the other, squat and dark.

“Chums!” Punch shouted.

Robert turned around.

“Dear Punch?”

“Here I am, Chums.” Punch exclaimed as he ran through the mist, embracing Robert and Marjani at once in his wide-open arms.

“You mustn’t, Mr. Punch.” Marjani whispered. “Ain’t fittin’ to embrace me in the streets.”

“Why?” Punch smiled.

“Sir, I’m a colored woman.” Marjani said.

“I don’t care.” Punch shrugged. “You’re me chum and I love you.”

Marjani smiled. “Oh, you are somethin’, Mr. Punch. I love you, too.”

“As do I,” Robert nodded.

“Got ‘way from Ulrika and Iolanthe, did ya?” Punch asked, blushing.

“We did.” Robert sighed. “God knows where they’ve gone now.”

“Let ‘em go.” Punch shook his head. “Let ‘em go to Blazes.”

“Where’s Barbara? Was she in danger?” Robert asked.

“Who knows?” Punch grumbled. “She can go to Blazes, too, and use Arthur and his simple chum as kindlin’. I told her to get out of me house. I’m through with all that foolishness. Told her to keep the bleedin’ diamond and just go away.”

“Good.” Robert smiled.

“Now, let’s go get our baby and leave.” Punch said.

“Yes, Sir.” Marjani nodded. “It’s this way.”

Robert and Punch followed Marjani to the Routhe’s Dress shop. As Marjani opened the back door, she took a deep breath and Robert could tell that she was suddenly ill-at-ease.

“Something’s wrong.” Robert whispered to Marjani. “You sense something?”

“Yes, Doctor.” Marjani said softly.

“No, no.” Punch shook his head, he ran in the door and raced up the stairs to see Adrienne slumped over a table—in tears. Mama Routhe stood behind her, wringing her hands.

“No!” Punch screamed. “It ain’t so. The baby ain’t gone!”

“Oh, Mr. Punch, I’m so terribly sorry.” Adrienne said quickly.

“No!” Punch shouted. “It ain’t true! Naasir tol’ me that the baby couldn’t be mine!”

“Naasir?” Robert raised his eyebrows.

“It can’t be true!” Punch sobbed.



Did you miss Chapters 1-276? If so, you can read them here.